This blog post is a reflection on the book “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark: Readings for an Anxious World,” by Cody Balfour.
Anxiety Keeps Good Company
My anxiety surrounds me wherever I go. Whether I’m with my children outside, driving alone at night, or even during morning jogs—my anxious thoughts stay nearby.
As I go for jogs in the morning, I’m trying to plan a route that is busy enough so that if I were attacked, I’d be okay. I keep one earbud in so I can hear if someone is near me. I cross the street if I hear a rustling . . . perhaps I watched too much Law and Order: SVU?
All around, I carry ongoing worries of injustice, enemies, incorrect views of God, my visibility, more church trauma, political impact, racism . . .
This led me to pick up, “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark: Daily Readings for an Anxious World,” by minister and author, Cody Balfour. In the book, Balfour takes readers on a journey from Genesis to Revelation, where he names our fears and anxieties and helps us find Jesus, who is ready to meet us and invite us toward wholeness.
A Legacy of Confronting Injustice
Faithfully weaving the narratives of Hagar and Nicodemus with the stories of historical leaders like Fannie Lou Hamer, he fleshes out examples of anxiety and fear met with courage, love, and action. Through historical and personal anecdotes, Balfour candidly reveals our universal struggle with fear, the pain and trauma BIPOC carry because of systemic racism and injustice, and the tension of living in trouble and uncertainty.
Equipped with the hope of the gospel he guides us toward a different way. In the early parts of the book, he lays a foundation of God’s goodness and desire for all God’s children to wrap themselves as his beloved. Throughout, he uses short devotions to help us confront injustice while living out God’s desire for his children to trust him and others.
I never felt condemnation or condescension over my fears, even the “bad” ones. Instead, I felt like each page validated my own struggle and helped me start to see God’s heart and live in the truth that “even when we are afraid, Jesus will be gentle with us.”
A Foundation that Sustains Our Activism
As someone reweaving and reconstructing her faith, his writing restored harmful theologies of sin, faith and fear and left me closer to the love of God and the grace to live in freedom and hope.
He points us to God in our fears by showing us how life with Jesus heals us so we can move forward in hope. In contrast to corrupt leaders and fallen systems, Jesus is worthy of our trust and remains an unwavering foundation:
For those who carry ongoing fear over the fallen empire, we go to Jesus.
For those who hold pain over toxic church cultures and theology, we go to Jesus.
For those who wonder when trouble will pass or when healing will come, we go to Jesus.
Balfour shows how God’s people have navigated similar struggles in the past, offering us the same hope as we turn toward the Father’s love and presence that meets us and tends to our wounds and uncertainties. He also connects the dots between how our fears and anxieties can hinder collective flourishing. Balfour writes that, “we will never bless those we fear.”
Since reading, I found myself checking in with the spirit when I carry anger or angst toward others. The book challenged me to walk with the grace and love God has for my enemies. While we may carry mistrust due to our past, the book challenges us to lean toward one another rather than away, in the same way that Jesus did.
In the aftermath of this anxiety-inducing election season, this is a timely read. As we consider our civic duty and after we cast our ballots, what else can we do with our potential dread or angst? We go to Jesus.
Just as I train my body to run in the mornings, through the words on these pages, I’m training myself to look at God and find his goodness, safety and provision. Little by little, my anxiety has less of a hold on me. Little by little, I’m more aware of the one who ultimately holds me.
Rachel C. Varghese is an Indian-American writer and homeschooling mom who desires to help people find belonging, healing and redemption. In her free time, she loves exploring new coffee shops, adding to her bookshelves, and singing (mostly 90s R&B) with her daughters. Read more of Rachel’s work on her substack, “Dear Little Brown Girl.”
The views and opinions expressed on the Chasing Justice Blog are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Chasing Justice. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything. Edited by Chealsia Smedley.
